You did it.
You made the decision to cultivate change in your life.
To let go of the things that no longer serve you.
To take the steps forward in clearing the clutter that has been weighing you down for far too long.
You’ve read about transformations that other’s have experienced, and you’re determined to give it a shot yourself.
You’re ready. You’re excited!
And you’re also slightly terrified. Of course you are. Change is hard.
And so much of the “inspiration” you hear out there makes you believe that you must have an ironclad level of discipline and commitment in order to make lasting change.
We want to change that narrative, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.
In fact, having a rigid mindset like that actually leaves you more likely to give up.
Because as soon as you falter…as soon as you make one misstep and fall behind (and you will, because you’re human) you’re left with thoughts of not being good enough. Thoughts that make you want to throw your hands up and say “what’s the point!”.
The thing is, this is normal.
In fact, it’s so normal that it should be expected that you will trip up a few times – or dare we say “fail”.
It should be expected that you will mess up and take one step forward and several steps back.
It should be expected because it’s all part of the process of change.
The key is to continue to move forward despite those little setbacks, and to not let a few slip-ups completely derail your progress.
But how do you move forward? How do you not let those mistakes get to you?
You do it by giving yourself grace.
“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before. You’ve never seen this version of you. So give yourself a little grace and breathe through it.”Kristin Lohr Life Coach & Writer
What It Means And Why It’s Important
To show kindness and compassion.
The most valuable and honorable thing we can do as humans is to show grace, and we’re usually rock stars at doing that for others.
But what about you?
When you fall short, are you showing yourself the compassion and kindness you deserve?
Maybe you’ve been making huge strides in developing a routine that helps to maintain your newly decluttered space, but tonight you were too tired to clear the kitchen counters and decided to save it for the morning.
This sends you into a spiral –
“Staying on top of things is too hard”…
”I can never stick to anything”…
”I can’t keep up with this”…
This calls for giving yourself some grace.
You’ve already been showing up for yourself – that takes courage, and it’s draining.
Give yourself some grace knowing that what you’ve been doing is hard.
It’s okay if you don’t do it all perfectly, and it’s okay to do a little less on the days when it feels like too much.
When you learn to give yourself more grace, you allow yourself room to energize and pick back up with real gusto moving forward.
Giving yourself grace sets realistic expectations and encourages changes to last a lifetime.
We know this because we’ve seen it firsthand.
When we work with our clients, we use The SHiFT MethodⓇ to help transform their lives from fragmentation to wholeness, and the premise of this method is based on moving through change compassionately.
It requires giving yourself grace.
Because the truth is, no path will be paved out for you. Everything is in flux, always. You’re going to have off days. You’re going to find yourself slipping back into old patterns. But instead of resisting this, giving yourself grace allows you to relax into the acceptance of how things will ebb and flow. You can still pick up and carry on, and you’ll one day soon find yourself miles away from where you started.
Checklist For Giving Yourself Grace
Take this checklist and run through it each day when you find yourself wanting to throw all your progress out the window or feel hung up on trying to do things perfectly.
Be sure you’re taking time to reflect on each one and be honest with how true you are to it in that moment.
✅ Abolish the all-or-nothing mindset.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Anyone who makes a change in their life is going to face a lack of motivation and get down on themselves from time to time. It’s part of being human. Focus on breathing through any negative thoughts you may be having, and remind yourself that one mistake does not discount all of the progress you’ve made.
✅ Stop and pause.
Take a moment to reflect on where your head is at. Make note of how you’re feeling – Anxious? Disappointed? Label your feelings and invite them to pass as normal human emotions. Ask yourself if the action(s) you are about to take are moving you closer or further from who you want to be. Kindly tell yourself that taking a few steps back is normal and expected, and commit to making a step in the right direction moving forward.
✅ Focus on making one small move forward.
What is something you can do that will take you closer to your goals and the person you want to be? Remind yourself that even the smallest, seemingly insignificant tasks add up to make monumental changes over time. Pick one small move to make, and be proud of yourself for making it happen.
✅ Give yourself more credit
This stuff is hard! But you’re here. You’re doing it. Recognize that. Call that out. Own that! Write out or recite to yourself a “self-love letter” stating how proud you are of yourself for being on this journey, setbacks and all.
✅ Lean into the support around you.
We want you to be your biggest cheerleader, but sometimes it helps to have someone else by your side on your journey. More importantly, someone who understands what you’re going through, and knows just how difficult these changes are. Whoever this person may be to you, lean into them. Send them a text or give them a quick call to chat over where your head is at. Just having someone to listen to your thoughts will help you to process the struggles holding you back, and will help you to keep moving forward.
Once you’ve checked off all of these moments of reflection, repeat this affirmation to yourself:
“I do not need to change anything about myself to cultivate self-compassion. I am deserving.”
We hope this resonates with you, and we hope that it helps you to show more compassion and grace for yourself each and every day. Especially on the days you feel the weight of change.
And for the days when it still feels like too much, know that we are in your corner.